What's in a Name? More Than You Think

A traditional marae.

"What's in a name?" It's a question that echoed across the marae at my sister's send-off. We were remembering her, fondly calling her by her childhood nickname, Bubba—a name that morphed into Bubbie as she got older. Then a ripple of confusion: a niece was also given the same nickname by our mother, her grandmother. It got me thinking… really thinking.

I have four daughters and two sons. Three of my daughters have children, blessing me with grandchildren. My youngest daughter and my sons, however, don't have biological children of their own. The reality is, while my genetic line will continue, my surname, in its direct line, won't. It’s a strange feeling, a personal loss I feel deeply. It’s an emotional attachment, pure and simple, this desire for my surname to carry on.

One of my daughters, sensing this, jokingly suggested her son take my surname. It was a light-hearted comment, but it spoke volumes. She understood. She’d even discussed it with her husband, who, understandably, had reservations. This whole situation, this simple question of a name, has made me realize just how much weight they truly carry.

Shakespeare’s Juliet famously asked, "What's in a name?" suggesting they are merely arbitrary labels. But I disagree. Names are so much more than just labels. They resonate on multiple levels, shaping our identity and connecting us to our past.

A Name's Personal Power:

• A Sense of Self: Our name is often the first word we learn about ourselves. It's the cornerstone of our self-perception and how we present ourselves to the world.

• A Link to Our Past: Names weave tapestries of family history, cultural traditions, and ancestral connections. They anchor us to our lineage, providing a sense of belonging and continuity.

• Emotional Echoes: Names are powerful triggers for memories and emotions. Hearing the name of a loved one, or even our own, can evoke a flood of feelings, both joyful and poignant.

The Social and Cultural Fabric:

• Connecting Us to Others: Names are essential for social interaction. They allow us to identify, address, and relate to one another, forming the basis of our social structures.

• Markers of Identity: Names can reflect cultural background, ethnicity, and even religious beliefs. They contribute to the rich tapestry of cultural diversity and help us understand our place within it.

• Perceptions and Impressions: Sometimes, names carry social connotations, influencing how others perceive us, consciously or unconsciously.

Remembering Through a Name:

When we remember a sibling, a parent, a friend, their name becomes a precious touchstone. It unlocks a flood of memories, shared moments, laughter, and tears. It's a way to keep their spirit alive, to honour their presence in our lives. That nickname, Bubba, Bubbie, is more than just a sound; it's a key to a lifetime of shared experiences.

The Undeniable Value:

So, what is in a name? Everything, I believe. They are not just arbitrary labels; they are deeply personal, social, and cultural constructs. They shape our identity, connect us to our history, and evoke powerful emotions. Especially when we remember those we've lost, a name becomes an invaluable link to their enduring presence in our hearts. It's a legacy, a whisper of the past that continues to resonate in the present.