Family Group Savings - Part 1

"A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went." - Dave Ramsey

Many years ago, in the late 1970s and early 1980s, when my siblings and I, ten of us, were in our twenties and thirties, we would get together to discuss family issues of the day. We lived all over the place, whoever was available at the time attended the meeting. Sometimes notes were kept, other times it was more a social gathering. Whatever was discussed got communicated to all ten either by phone or face to face. These were the pre-cellphone days. 

A priority of the early meetings was to setup a family bank account to which each family member would contribute. The intention of the fund was to cover expenses for any unforeseen event that required the participation of every family member. It was hoped the fund would grow sufficiently to extend beyond emergencies. In due course, an account was opened and a treasurer appointed. A low contribution rate, affordable for everyone, was set, and all were notified.

Issues

Family dynamics are no different from any other group who have connections, be it blood or otherwise. Groups with a long history function well, the dynamics sorted. The more formal the group, the processes in place are already well established. Structure, purpose, roles, communication, accountability and record keeping. Meetings follow a set pattern, so objectives are achieved. Differences of opinion were usually settled according to the dispute resolution process.

Families presumed to be loving by blood, make many assumptions. These assumptions raises so many issues, dynamics that have to be dealt with. Our family, I suspect like many others, don’t get beyond the dynamics stage. Differences of opinion are more emotional and can become heated. In our family, and this is only my opinion, communication was the biggest problem. At that stage of life, we were all still full of beans, young energy, so what was just a point of view for one, became an emotional upset for another. Over time, for some, the easiest way to deal with conflict, was to withdraw from family meetings.

Koha

As those meetings in the early years fell away, our family dealt with events, one at a time. The events were always the death of our loved ones. When our parents and cousins passed, we all contributed, both financially and in effort. In our culture, koha is a contribution, usually of money, but it could be of food or any other gift or service that recognises support for the family in mourning. Koha is not just for funerals, it is for hui (meetings), or any event that is in support of your community. It shows respect, generosity, and giving back to many beyond your immediate family.

Today

I am happy to say, as of the writing of this article, all ten of us siblings are alive and kicking. The genes passed down by our parents are strong. Communication is no longer an issue; technology has helped a great deal with that. We are all at an age that the dynamics of those early years are behind us. The early family account was not as successful as we hoped. However, the youngest of us, is usually the co-ordinator and go-to communicator for family news and events. We are grateful for koha and to those who have supported our family over the years. We remember our parents; the events of their funerals were full of aroha (love) and koha. We ten siblings can work together when it really matters.

Read the next blog to help your family.